Monday, December 12, 2011

Dealing with an alcoholic?

One of my guy friends has issues with alcohol, but with me he had been doing pretty well and even watched out for me if I was drinking (and told me to stop if he thought I was drinking too much.) My impression was that he was starting to manage things quite well, and had slowed down tremendously.

Now I'm hearing that he's told people that he's gotten thrown out of bars for being an obnoxious drunk over the past few years, and that they've seen him being that obnoxious themselves.

Is it time to give up on him as a lost cause? How do you account for the disparity between the way he acts around me and everyone else?

To complicate matters, he's now hinting that he wants to go on a short trip. The last time I remember him doing that (several years ago) with a girl, he wound up damaging his rental and the girl said she didn't want to see him anymore because he spent the whole trip drunk. (Of course, that's not the version I got from him!)

What should I do, both about the trip and in general? I've addressed this with him once a few years ago, and he came back with a plan to slow down. Of course, now that these other things have come to light I'm not sure that I quite trust him . . .Dealing with an alcoholic?
GO TO THE TRIPPPPPPPPPPDealing with an alcoholic?
I woulden't trust him on this trip but i would certainly try to force him into getting help but i would skip this trip.
If he invited you to go on the trip: DON'T. I am not saying that you should give up on him but just be safe. You know that you can't be safe going with him on a trip, especially if he drives. Try not to go on the trip but maybe you could organize an intervention. I am sure he has some family and maybe another friend, except you. Get in touch with them and talk to them about what to do. I think that is the only way to help him. He needs a push from more people in his life.

Good Luck
I'd definatley not want to be in the car with a drunk driver. If alcohol was out of the picture I'd say go for it. But I don't think you could fully trust him.
From what you've said, I'd say he needs to be released from your mind, and let him learn for himself. He's obviously abused many people, now, or in the near future he will pay, and get off his 'drunk' or 'high' depending on what ever he's on at the time, Let's just hope if you discontinue your friendship, he doesn't get all depressed and do something stupid, like drive really fast while drunk, and kill innocent folks. That's the scary part. I don't see anything that you can do, except maybe contact his immediate family, or close friends of his, if he still has any, and ask them for help. If you've already gone through all of that, then there is always plan B. And that's really hard, but I had to do it once. Set him up, (in my case it was a female, I'm a guy) and get them busted before they kill someone. It's tough, and I never told a sole, now I'm confessing after 20 years, but I'm not giving out any names. lol. She got busted, used to be called dwi, now it's duui. She learned her lesson. Do him a favor, bust him, never tell him you did it, and all will be good. When you are my age, you'll write and thank me, ( I'll be in my '90's then) lol. But, seriously, you have to do something now. If you are concerned enouph to post this question, then you are a loving enough person to do what is necessary. Good luck. Ron Couch

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