How do I deal with my alcoholic mom on Thanksgiving?

About every year it's always the same...My mom practically begs the family to come to her house for Thanksgiving. Everyone pitches in, but my mom just totally stresses over everything. Then, after Thanksgiving, she goes on a binge and it's just awful. Last year, she ended up in the hospital. I could just avoid her but I'm afraid it would just hurt her feelings and just make it all worse. I'm in Al-Anon and I'm trying to better myself after growing up in an abusive family. It's so sad to be around my mom this time of year and it just brings up painful memories. I love my mom but she just refuses to get any help for her problems. What am I supposed to do on Thanksgiving?How do I deal with my alcoholic mom on Thanksgiving?
YOUR needs are number 1



You do not need to be subjected to that nor should you be.



She puts here needs first by drinking - so why shouldn't you place your need first by not going?



It is called tough love, but some times you just have to do it. How do I deal with my alcoholic mom on Thanksgiving?
For her sake and yours, do not go over there. By going over there you enable her to drink, when no one is there whatever she does is on her and no one else, she has to either go to AA and dry out or lose her family.
If it has not worked out in the past it is better for you not to go to her house for thanks giving. You need to tell her that as long as she does not get help you prefer not to be around her. Be nice about it but show her that you are serious and tell her that its what is best. It will be much better for you to spend the holiday with friends or other family so that you don't have the added stress and bad memories. i hope everything turns out well.
give her anti-depressants
Ask her to make a contract with you and the rest of the family promising that this will not happen this year. Ask her to tell you how you can identify when she is getting stressed and what you can do to help. Schedule a massage or other relaxing activities for the day after Thanksgiving and go with her. Teach her how to unwind in a better way.
ST has the best answer with the contract idea. It requires buy-in from the whole family, which shows your mom she has support.



In addition to the contract, remove all liquor from the house and get everyone to commit to a booze-free holiday.