How do you deal with Alcoholics at Christmas?

My in denial dad a heavy drinker for over 40 years now has been invited to my new fiance's parents house for Christmas dinner. He already feels ';put upon'; that he has to leave the house i.e not drink for a few hours but having to behave himself at their house might be a bit much. I really do want him there as he has total liver failure so will be his last Christmas but at the same time I want him to be pleasant and actually, grateful. I haven't told him yet that I have said yes please to the lovely offer - how do I go about this? Any kind advice would be gratefully received.How do you deal with Alcoholics at Christmas?
Let him know that there are no lofty expectations on him. Many drinkers turn to the bottle when confronted with a stressful situation. (Family Christmas dinners with in-laws to be falls in to this category!) Also, give him an out. Let him know that if he comes, he is free to leave if he feels uncomfortable.How do you deal with Alcoholics at Christmas?
Well......I would have a talk with your in-laws and ask them not to have any drinks, unless they are hidden in the house. Get a couple of the small bottles of whatever from the store, and give him one every 30 min - 1 hour just to keep him calm.



Maybe that will help......good luck, sorry for your troubles!



Merry Christmas
I have the same kind of dad. But seriously, if his last Christmas, let the man enjoy himself, even if that means you dont! Everyone has at least one heavy drinker in the family.



And well, if you cant beat them, join them. Get wasted with your pop! Cheers!



Edit: I know how it feels to be '';put out'; by socialising'. Maybe jsut let him stay home if after a lot fo convincing doesnt work, but make sure you do something with him the next day, just the two of you ;)
My dad's the same way, except he hasn't reached the point of liver failure, thank God. But unlike yours, mine is a ';peaceful drunk';. He usually gets extra friendly (and a little obnoxious), but he usually doesn't start trouble. As for your situation, I'd sit him down, WHILE SOBER, and explain to him the importance of that dinner and even more importantly, that union and beg him to be on his best behavior at least THIS TIME. You have to give him a chance, he is your father. If he STILL winds up acting up, apologize for him and tell him he's out of your life until he gets help, otherwise, you're an enabler. He probably still won't, and your not really going to be out of his life, but maybe it will guilt him into at least TRYING harder.
It is sad that your father has complete liver failure and still drinks. It is also sad that you don't realize that you are an enabler. You obviously can't control your father's drinking. Now you want suggestions on how to enlist your inlaws -to- be in being enablers too?



Your family has been invited to Christmas dinner. You should go without imposing any restrictions on your father's drinking or on his attitude. How do you propose to make someone be plesant and grateful? If your father is that much of an embarrassment to you, leave him at home. It is likely your tension about his presence will be more disruptive to the occasion than his behavior. Everyone can spot a person who drinks excessively. Those who pass judgment onto anyone other than the excessive drinker about it are just ignorant about alcoholism. Hide your father and go to the dinner. Or accept him for who he is, introduce him as your father and let him be responsible for his behavior and people's opinions about it. If you love him you'll let his last days be lived out in peace being himself.
Just tell Him how important is his presence and BEHAVIOUR IS to you.Tell him you love him and want him to be sober that day but then you will also UNDERSTAND if he cannot control it because he CANNOT CONTROL it inspite of his love for you.

Just keep the inlaws informed about his condition also

Your father loves you, understands the situation BUT STILL HE CANNOT CONTROL THIS ADDICTION

REMEMBER IT IS NOT EASY FOR HIM.

Once he knows you will understand, then may be he can control.
i just wanted to let you know that i know how you feel.... My dad passed away June 2007 from complete liver failure. He was only 47 years old!! My thoughts are with you and your family xxxx
first of all sorry you have to deal with that. and second i cant stand alcoholics or drunks .a drunk person killed my best friend in a car accident. drunk people dont give a **** about anything but them selves