Monday, December 12, 2011

How do I deal with my sons alcoholic drug addict mother?

My ex-girlfriend drank and drugged during the entire 9 months she was pregnant with my son. I got so mad that she wouldn't stop that I hit her when she was 7 months. i went to jail and now she has my son. i still hate her for poisoning my son. I had no prior history of violence in anyway so this was a shock to everyone. It was a bigger shock that I got involved with her in the first place but I cant go back and change it. She is the addict, and I am the straight one that can't be with my son until next year. Any advice anyone??How do I deal with my sons alcoholic drug addict mother?
I know a guy just like you and well he is trying to get custody of his son. Yes it's expensive but what kind of life is she going to give this child when she didn't care that she was poisoning him like that. Ireally recommend you try to take custody of your baby what kind of life is she going to give this child?? I believe it's child abuse big time!!How do I deal with my sons alcoholic drug addict mother?
Weel When I first read this I thought kill the b**** for what she did! But realistically.... Get a good lawyer and fight it. You know what you did was wrong and I am sure you felt bad for hitting a woman, even if she was a low life addict. This is a bad situation. Now I see an example of nice guys finish last. You will not have the first year(s) to bond with your son. That isn't fair. Good luck!
Hey sending you well-wishes in your tough situation. While I don't have personal experience I would suggest you find a superb lawyer and get a spiral notebook to write down every little incident, time and date those incidents, etc. When you take action, always take the high road and make sure the legal paper trails and/or letters reflect that you are committed to taking the high road in this sticky situation, i.e., you want what's best for your child, independent from what happens to you as an individual.
You hit a woman who was pregnant, let alone pregnant with YOUR child? And you are complaining about HER behavior. Clearly there is more to this story, and you are giving the sanitzed version. You are trying to make it look like it's all her fault. Please be real, get therapy, and keep in mind that YOUR SON is the one who matters here. How could you not know that when you hit her? You let him down before he was even born. I really don't know what to say. That poor child, that you two are who he got stuck with as parents.



Note to cesarsbabygirl: I DID grow up with an alcoholic parent, AND had an abusive husband. I also work in a public high school where the results of horror stories like this come to me everyday for guidance and sometimes just for hugs. Don't tell me to shut up. I have every right to speak here, as do you. Had this man not taken the violent route -- and I don't believe for a second that this was the only time he was abusive in some way -- he should have protected that unborn baby as best he could and gotten custody at birth to raise him safely. What good is he to the child in prison, having hit her? The baby was inside her at the time. He was willing to risk injury to his own unborn child!
there is a place called alonon it is for the family and friends of alcoholics and naranon for addicts it really helps i am a recovering addict so i am familiar with it you can also look into anger management and theropy just some options hope it helps god bless you and your family
I have a hard time believing that she is so drugged out and not under serious surveilence and probation for her addiction.



If you had no prior history of violence in ANY way, then you would not have hit her. Perhaps you just simply weren't arrested for it. Typically, men who hit women are very controlling and verbally abusive as well.



My advice to you is to take anger management classes, get couseling, learn to be a better person, then learn how to be a better father by taking parenting classes. Doing this out of your own accord, and not court order, will show the Judge at your visitation hearing that you are serious about being a good person and a good father.



I believe that fathers are IMMENSELY important to the development of a child. Unless they are abusive, controlling and violent, then they are completely worthless.
I am so sorry you are in this situation...I truly feel for you. My mother was an alcoholic/drug addict(still is) and my grandma took my sister and I into her home as my father had passed away when I was 9. Please do everything in your power to get your son away from her, don't give up. I don't know what I would have done if my grandma wasn't there for me. I really have no legal experience and I don't have any advise that will help you and I am so sorry for that, I wish I did. However I will be praying for you and I hope tremendously that you get your son away from her and give him a better life.

And to all the people who are angry at HIM for hitting her, unless you have lived a life with a loved one who is an alcoholic/drug addict DON'T SPEAK! You have no idea what he had to go through...believe me, it can make you crazy and it can make you lose yourself!!! YOU DON'T KNOW! SO SHUT UP!
Hitting someone because they have a drug problem

will not solve anything. This will only add to the problem.

If your ex-girlfriend continue to use drugs she will event-

ually loose her son. Getting her into treatment, will help

you with your anger.
I am an alcoholic or as they say recovering alcoholic. The person still has feelings my own drinking stemmed from being gang raped and could not sleep without it to keep the nightmares away.Alcoholics remember are not bad people but if your son is not being taken care of please go through channels to correct this.This is a disease she cannot help it.Alcoholism and addiction does not make a person bad person.They still have feelings.I had been hit by my husband back when I was drinking and it only took me back to the rape.You can never know what is going on in the mind.lthough my husband did.I never lost my kids do to it luckly though.I was a functional alcoholic just needed sleep without nightmares still no excuse.Just remember she has feelings you may not even know about.Although I stopped while pregnant I stayed in corners for 9 months crying.You may not know what she is feeling to cover up.But please protect your son just don't forget her feelings.
You should have not hit her !!! Violence doesn't solve problems !!! You should talk to your son about how drugs are bad he will understand he will hopefully quit !!!
WOW! A mother like that doesn't deserve to have her child. The best advice I can give you is to get a good lawyer. One that speicalizes in cases as such. If you can prove no previous violance and that she was using and or still is, a good judge should be able to over turn the rule that you can't see your son. Contact human services after talking to your lawyer and let them know of her behavior. They would have to look into her quickly and they are sneaky about do it.



Good luck and I hope things work out for you and a your son.
Get some help with your anger and go to al-anon.
Get a lawyer and give that baby a chance at a good life,you were wrong and you admit it,thats a start,now forgive yourself and start protecting you baby.Do what you have to do the legal way,call CPS on her,talk to a lawyer, like I said.Good luck to you.
Get a attorney

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