How to deal with a controlling alcoholic OCD Dad?

My Dad is making me lose my mind.



I'm 19, go to a community college (am in my second semester), get mostly As and some Bs... my parents pay for my schooling. I appreciate it everyday!

I'm an aspiring audio engineer... i study every aspect of the profession on a daily basis. I have a 100 average in all my Music classes thus far and have been told by my engineering teachers that THIS IS the path for me.

-I work 25+ hours a week at a grocery store but am starting to actively look for internships.

-I'm in a jam band with 9 other friends (on drums). We chill nearly daily, play disc golf, motivate each other to achieve our dreams, and go out drinking and partying on weekends. None of us are reckless... none of us do ';hard drugs';... Most of my friends smoke weed, but I haven't in months because it makes me too lazy. I just stick to the weekend brews, by personal decision.

-I paid for my car with my own cash.



My Dad is the only gloom on these great college years. He drinks a 30 pack of Keystone every night and smokes a pack of cigarettes a day... You can see his lifestyle all over his face...

He has extremely high blood pressure and is very high strung in general. We can be having a conversation and all of a sudden he will start yelling.

He has OCD... which is frustrating for me because i'm incredibly chilled out. I've got long dreadlocks... (i'm a little part black so i can pull them off extremely well, but my dad HATES it)

he is constantly closing doors, yelling at me for leaving my bedroom light on for just 3 or 4 minutes while i am downstairs, and yelling at my mother for every ridiculous reason imaginable.



I believe it is a defense mechanism. He tries to nitpick every small fault of others around him to justify his alcoholism and life threatening ways.



Not only that, but he uses the fact that i live at home against me. I constantly hear ';You live in this house! My rules!';, even telling them i'm going to sleep over at a friends house on a weekend night.



I feel like i can't mature in this environment. I know this has turned into a ramble... but how do you young adults deal with an irresponsible parent that can't help but treat you like a little boy?!How to deal with a controlling alcoholic OCD Dad?
Get a scholarship and an apartment. It's time to move on. You can't change your dad, but you can stop him and his choices from affecting your life and your future. Don't drink- you are underage and it is against the law. You could ruin a very promising future, and it isn't worth the risk. Good luck.How to deal with a controlling alcoholic OCD Dad?
the only way to deal is just to find other places to hang out and to live. my mom was REALLY difficult when i still lived at home with my parents. the only way it ever got better was by living on my own. our relationship is so much better now, because she doesn't control my life anymore.



no matter what, your dad will find something to get angry about. just know it's about him, not you. as soon as you can manage it, find a way to get your own place.



and good job on your accomplishments so far!
YOu will eventually leave there. Be on your own. Only then will you do what I did. Realize that your dad is who he is, and he in no way reflects on you. I love my dad, and have a close relationship with him, but there are certain things about him that used to make me miserable. Then I found out I don't need to feel miserable. They are his issues, not mine. Once it is not a daily part of your life, it won't bother you anymore.
Not good but it sounds like you are dealing farily well with it. The best bet is to get out of there. You can't change him... so it is either tolerate the situation or find other arrangements which might be tough if they are paying for your schooling. What does mom say? She had to deal with him longer then you... maybe she might have some thoughts. Just becareful, sounds like it could be dangerous, even if he doesn't mean to be.
Unfortunately, you will be putting up with your dad's messed-up behavior as long as you are under his roof.

About all you can do is try to stay out of his orbit, and do all the basic stuff to stay off his radar (pick up after yourself, do your chores). When he goes on a rant, you just stand there and look at his face and agree with him... he wants validation.

With a little luck, he'll croak-off soon enough.



You can probably do a nice internship as audio engineer at one of the bigger churches. We have some ';mega churches'; here in Houston with major music programs and audio and video. Check the performing arts organizations in your area as well.