I live with my boyfriend. Were both 21 years old. His dad split up with his girlfriend of estimated 10 years about 6 months ago. My boyfriend, his older borther (23) and dad were all living with the girlfriend and her sons. My boyfriend moved out and in with me before the split occured. His dad and his brother got an apartment and have been living together since. They are both really bad alchoholics. Especially his dad. His brother, today actually, just graduated from some forn of AA and had been sober for 1 to 2 weeks now. Can any body give us any advice on what we can do for his dad? Their oldest brother is a psychologist and he cant get through to his dad. Everytime someone tries to talk to his dad and be honest with him, he thinks they hate him and arent on his side. He is irrational. His life is going down the drain and hes on the brink of loosing his career. My boyfriend gets calls just about evey night about some argument or fight they just had. His brother often asks to spend the night at our house. Now I love his brother as if he were my own, but our home is rather small and it puts stress on our relationship. My boyfriend is so stressed out. He thinks his dad is going to die soon if he keeps this up. I mean his dad is up at 7 am drunk! Passing out, falling all over the place. Its so bad that at one point he tried to kiss me! You can imagaine how he felt the day after. For all of us this has affected what can we do?!I really need some help dealing with an alcoholic!?
Reading your question, I could not stop thinking about David Hasseloff.His daughter knew he was drinking heavily, and video taped him eating a hamburger, he was on the floor and totally wasted.It was shamefull.Alcoholics, sometimes do not realize they are alcholics.They feel they can stop when ever they want.Hard liquor is very damaging to the body and brain, my mother in law actually died from alcohol poisoning.He might get offended like my mother in law did,but If it were me, I would video tape him, at his finest hour, and when he sobers up, show him what he is doing to himself.Then get a third outside party, like his doctor, to help him.A doctor is well aware of alcolism and might be your best bet.Try ALANON,if he does not cooperate, that will give advice and help to those who care.I really need some help dealing with an alcoholic!?
You should call someone that can help you set up an intervention, like a rehab center, social worker or psychologist that can help him go into rehab. Not only are relationships on the line, but his health and everyone else around him. He needs to understand that people love him and are there for him, and that alcohol is not the answer. He wants to be in a state that is not reality and doesn't care if he dies. He needs to be in a place where they can structure and control his habits and help him out of this and cope in a healthy way.
any alcoholic will tell you, the first step is admitting you have a problem. Until he admits it, you cant help him. If he's like most alcoholics, he'll need to lose his job, his home, most of his family and then have a really bad accident or near death experience before he will admit to having a problem... as long as he has people who love and care for him, he doesnt see the problem.
He will not change until he hits rock bottom. That means that none of you can enable him in any way. Put him out. Do not help him with money or any other way. If he loses his job, that may wake him up. It is painful and hard to do but it is the only way. Contact AA for more information.
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