My dad went to rehab,but still drinks. He thinks I don't know. I can hear it in his voice when I call. My mom drinks all day until she passes out. She tells my dad she has a headache, thats why she falls asleep early. I can never call my parents house and have a conversation with my mom bc she is drunk. I get angry,sad,i cry. I wish ididn't give a ****, but i don't know how. She denies it too. We have a house upstate NY, they go on vactation up there and just drink. Then my dad gets angry, drunk calls my sisters, and brothers. Then they call me. Why?Why do they have to involve me? I don't know how to handle this situation with my mom. I need to learn how to not care about my parents. I am always stressed and upset. Anyone have an idea on how can I just avoid my parents?Dealing with alcoholic parents?
I know how you feel, unfortunately. I am 26 years old, and my mom has been sober for just under 2 years. I have no idea how she did it. What i can tell you is not to answer those drunk phone calls, and not to listen to the lies they will tell because of their denial. Once i was out on my own, I really didn't deal with my mother too much. She would call, if it was the middle of the night, I knew not to answer. If it was during the day, and I heard that drunk voice, I always said ';you're drunk, i can't talk to you when you are like this'; and I would hang up. (Otherwise she would start an argument that made no sense)
Basically, you can't help them. They need to help themselves. They will hit a bottom, one way or another. All you can do is keep yourself healthy, and that might mean not talking to them. My mom actually disapeared for almost 2 years, my grandmother %26amp; I never heard from her, didn't know where she was. Then one day she called my grandma and moved there. She was going to church, looked great, etc. She's been sober ever since, which is the longest she ever has gone without drinking. Its really amazing. I know i still have to take it one day at a time, because I can't let her ever let me down again if she chooses to drink, but i know that just for today, she is sober, and i am grateful. We have a relationship, and she did it all on her own. All of the help people tried to give her in the years before did nothing. She had to be ready, and it appears that she was.
Keep in mind, they are not rational people. Trying to have a conversation when you know they are in denial will do nothing, except irritate them and cause them to say hurtful things to you.
Good luck to you, and remember, take care of yourself above all! They need to want to stop.Dealing with alcoholic parents?
Iv just turned 16, and im in exactly the same posistion. Things have gotten so bad. Any advice?
Report Abuse
Call Alcoholics Anonymous! Seek professional counselling!
Danielle, I'm sorry that you had to live with that during your younger years. Now is the time for you. Let it go, don't even call. Find some friends and get busy living, if not this will eat at you. You have to let go. Find you a nice fisherman and go sailing, anything. Just let go!!!
I'm sorry to hear that, i know the feeling tho, i got some family that drank too, my grandmother (use to), my uncle and my dad, all you gotta do is pray for them, thats all, god will take care of the rest.
You cant just stop caring for your parents. The best thing to do is pray about it. I know how hard it is to deal with that type of a situation. My mom is an alcoholic and what hurts the most about that is that the only time she will actually tell me and my little sister that she loves us is if she is drunk. Me and my little sister still live at home. My dad hates it too. I have looked it up on the Internet several times and it said the best think to do in a situation like that is go to a family councilor. Maybe it will help you learn to deal with it better, and it might cause your parents to reolize that it is tering your family apart.
Yes you can avoid them (block their number and never call them) build your own healthy family with friends and the other relatives (if there are any) Praying is not going to do a darn thing to help if you ask me. Time to take your own life in your own hands and stop crying because you were dealt crappy parents. Just be happy you are not a drunk too.
Can't avoid them. Say a prayer, and hope they straighten themselves out.
You can't change other people, you can only change yourself, so maybe you need to get some help dealing with them. Find someone to talk to.
Good luck
I think you should first go to an Al-Anon meeting in your area and share your pain and find some coping methods others have used. My step-sister goes and says that it is really very helpful. Good luck and God Bless.
You might need to put your foot down a little. Tell your siblings and your parents that you will not get involved in any issues until the parents get into some treatment, and admit they have drinking problems.
let go! easier said than done! Why not view this as an opportunity to grow closer to the family you do have!(ie brothers and sisters) You need to firmly inform your family members that you love you parents very much,yet you cannott and will be apart of you drunken parents maddness! You would greatly appreciate if they did involve you in situtions that involve your parents! unless it life or death! tell parents the same!!! stop getting so stressed out because you will make yourself sick!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment