I know what you are going through. My father is a recovering alcoholic, but my childhood and teenage years were very much like what you describe.
I kept everything inside. I actually became somewhat of a recluse. I didn't spend a lot of time going out with my friends or on dates, but preferred to shut myself in my room and listen to my music. When I was alone I could imagine a fantasy world where I didn't experience the pain I felt in my reality.
My mom found out that my dad molested me when he was drunk and I was just 11 years old. She didn't find out until I was about 17. At first she blamed me. I went to counseling which helped me personally, but my mom ridiculed me for it. She actually asked me how I thought my father felt knowing I was airing his skeletons to strangers! I still went to counseling regardless of what she thought and eventually it helped me.
For a long time I had trouble having any sort of relationship with my dad. I still can't be in a room alone with him and be comfortable. I remember standing in a Hallmark store in tears because I just didn't feel the sentiments written in birthday cards for fathers. I honestly wanted one that said, ';Happy Birthday, you f*cking jerk!';.
I would recommend some sort of counseling - Al-Anon is a great resource since they deal with families of alcoholics. You can also send me a message if you need to talk to someone who knows what it's like.
I wish you the best. (((HUGS)))How to deal with an alcoholic?
No alcoholic can be cured. Leave them alone.
You detach yourself. Get urself inert to his presence and deeds.
Engage in better thinking.
Try to develop your personality to overshadow the impact created by your fathers alcoholism. Ignore him
You will be happy.
Do not fret over it. it cannot solve problm.
Alcoholism is a disease you can't stop it but you can learn about it %26amp; it'll help you call AA they can refer you to Al-Anon for families %26amp; friends of alcoholics Ok meetings are anonymous %26amp; free they have them 7 days a week also there's Ala-Teen for teens you're not alone OK please call ASAP
I wish so bad I could help you....video him when hes drunk let him see it, tell him to get help, you say he loves you then he should get help. Do you have another family member you can move in with? Why doesn't your mom do something about this can't she see you are suffering. Is she one of those weak women, to let her kids suffer to save her house, marriage and embarrassment? If I were you I would if you have another family member to move in with do so....explaining to your mom and dad why. I hope you do well in school sounds like you only have yourself to really count on. Soon as you can get a job move out if no family is around, bless your heart, I know this is an ugly situation for such a young person to endure....signed Julie
Ok listen I know you are angry at the way you and your family are being treated. I'm not saying it is the right thing for him to do or your mom to allow. But alcoholism is a disease and not one that is easily overcome. I'm sorry that you are going through this. There is no easy way to deal with an alcoholic. I know that when he is sober attacking him seems like the best thing to do because he is the root of your pain but don't do it for a few reasons. One it will actually cause him to want to drink more and two he will remember it when he is drinking and you could get hurt. You could talk to a teacher or counselor at school which they will get the Child Protective Services involved. Maybe when he is sober you could talk to him about how his drinking hurts him, you, and the family and that you want him to get help. If talking to him isn't an option write him a letter and explain these things to him. Explain to him that you know his drinking is a disease and he can't control it but if he gets help they will teach him to do so. I also think that he may need rehab in order for it to help. They will detox him and get him the help he needs. It's a very difficult situation to deal with. He is consumed by this disease and he needs to get help. Here is a website for you to check out. It might help. http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
Im so happy I saw this. My father is currently 60 days sober after his 6th time at a rehab facility. I am 19 and have been dealing with this for as long as I can remember. It is definitley not easy. It is hard when your father lies and manipulates, hurts people and makes you feel uncomfortable. You can not blame God,you can not blame his parents and you certainly can not blame yourself. I used to feel that if I was enough, maybe he would stop it. So I felt awful about myself. The truth is your father is very very sick. It is an illness and an obsession, it is not a character flaw. He needs to see it for himself, he needs to hit rock bottom, because no one can make anyone change but themselves. I think your mother needs to open her eyes a little bit more, see how it is hurting her children. My mom was and still is quite the obstacle. Maybe you and your brother should sit down and talk to her about what it is doing to you guys and she needs to make your father leave the house due to the effect it is having on you. Ask her to take you guys to Alanon meetings, these meetings are for children and families of alcoholics. They will be able to tell you what to do. The person with the addiction will not change until the people around him/her do.
I was in the same condition. You must pursuade him to give up drinking u must try .We had to try for atleast 7-8 years
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