Sunday, November 21, 2010

How do help an alcoholic friend?

I have a friend who is an alcoholic. He has asked me several times to help him get sober but everytime I suggest a way to help him he pushes me away. This last time he told me goodbye and now he wont talk to me. i dealt with an alcoholic father at a very young age and now he is no longer living. I cant see one of my friends go through the same thing. I also understand that they need to want the help for themselves. Which he has openly expressed to me several times. But like I said he keeps pushing me away. So how do I help him.How do help an alcoholic friend?
I commend you are your support. As you already know the work is there's and there's alone. Your only function is to be there as an alternative to the booze. How you help this friend is exactly what you are doing. Be willing to forgive and wait until the moment in time they are done with their friend in the bottle.How do help an alcoholic friend?
suggest that u will go to aa classes with him and u would love to team up with him true friends stick by each other thru good times and bad times.good luck
tell him to dry out and go on the wagon..

also he needs rehab badly...brooks shield ring a bell? he is addicted to alcohol and you are an enabler if you put up with his addictions...

tell him to see AA and if you love him got to Alano..for the spouse or significant other..if he won't quit he will either dry from his disease of alcoholism or go insane...its like being pregnant..this is no such thing as being a little bit pregnant...get my drift?
You have offered to go to AA with him. Fine! You've done your part. You've made the offer. If he pushes you away instead of going, then that's HIS choice! Stop nagging or mothering him. It's his problem; not yours. Don't make it yours.

And stop telling him you will ';be here for him NO MATTER WHAT.'; That's just a license for him to do as he pleases since he knows you will take whatever crap he cares to dish out, then 'forgive' him and start all over again.

YOU need to go to Al-Anon and find out why you continue to empower these alcoholics. First your father, now this person. You can care about someone or something without supporting their bad behavior. And don't let them try to put a guilt trip on you. Alcoholics are well known for that trick. It's everybody else's fault, not theirs. Well they are adults and it is their free will to make the choices they do in life. Al-Anon will help you learn the psychology behind the behavior. You can 'care' for or about someone without having to do everything for them - or clean up their messes in life, or take their abuse. If he pushes you away, then stay away. I hope you don't keep going back or calling. And when he does come back, as he will, and begins asking you to help him get sober simply say, ';That's not my job'; (which is very true since you are certainly not a licensed professional). You have already given him the information. That's HIS job to go and participate.

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