How can i deal with an alcoholic parent as a 17 year old?

i feel stuck in my house with my mom who is an alcoholic and has been for quite a few years. i have 2 brothers and both went through this and are now in college. its not that im weaker than them just they had all 3 of us to help each other cope while im stuck alone at home having to deal with my mom. she has this guy she sees and gets drunk with and hes just a loser...like such a typical lying, poor, irresponsible person..but my mom wont stop hanging around with him.

My dad is remarried and lives 45 minutes away in a secluded place so i don't have any friends there and so just the simple answer of moving with him is a difficult one to pick because then i wouldn't see any of my friends.

I need advice what to do because it feels like my mom is still a kid and im the parent, having to do everything and watching out for myself all the time. What can i do to help myself cope with the stress and hardships of living with a parent like her and also what can i do to get rid of this guy she hangs out with....he is bringing her down with her and i have already talked to her but she refuses to listen.



thank you :-\How can i deal with an alcoholic parent as a 17 year old?
Oh man, I can feel you on this one. I have dealt with what you are saying, and I know my little brother really can, as he is still at home with it.

I moved out. Several times. Not that you need to do the same. I just really could'nt deal, partly because my father died, some rebellion, but mostly the alcohol and the step father.

You can't force a person to do something they don't want to do. If your mom does not want to quit, she won't. You just have to give her time, because eventually she is going to be sick of being sick. The ';loser guy'; will not last. She just has someone who will not judge her for what she knows is wrong, because he does the same thing.

I am saying this from personal experience. I know how it feels, and you are not alone. Hang in there. Finish school and move on.How can i deal with an alcoholic parent as a 17 year old?
My father just passed away three weeks ago due to alcoholism I have 2 other sisters staying with me.Talk to your mom about it whenever you get the chance, and tell her exactly how you feel. Its lame how im only 13, but seriously dude, contact an aunt or uncle if all fails, Just try stay positive. ~

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i feel deeply for you in your situation. my advice would be to talk to your brothers (who probably know the situation better than your father or friends) regularly (as often as you need) so that they can help you cope. They know what it is like dealing with her and they can understand your problem best, because I am sure they realize it is much more difficult doing it alone.

As far as the jerk who is bringing your mother down, I don't think there is much you can do on your own. You need help from others to get her to realize. I don't know exactly how to go about this but I wish you all the luck, I applaud you for wanting to help your mother even when she has caused you pain.
I would talk to your pastor, counselor or your best friends parents. Maybe you could live with your friend on the weekends. Engage in extra activities so you are doing something and keep your mind occupied.
do you have a car and your license? what i did to get away from my abusive father was basically have two homes. my mother lived about a half hour away. i would stay at her house some days, stay with him some days..just showing you are not going to deal with it helped a lot. because then you feel you have an out...when it gets too hard just leave. if you don't, there are ways to talk to her and bring it up, but in the end she has to want it herself. if she does not you are just wasting your time. just be mature and do your best...and most importantly look out for yourself...keep your nose clean and chin up high...she is the one failing not you. that is the main problem with parents like that (and mine) they bring their dependents down with them. best advice i can give you is...look forward to the future, college, being on your own, being a much better parent. you dont have far to go..just hang in there
Mikes right you can't ';deal'; with it. Don't put up with it. AVOID her and her idiot boyfriend at all costs. You can't enable her and this guy could be dangerous to you. Spend as much time away from home or in your room as possible. Make yourself unavailable to help her when she needs it. It's one thing to do the dishes that's to be expected anywhere but NEVER help her up or fetch her alcohol or ice, that's enabling her. If she gets pissed at you just find good excuses to not help her. She can't be mad if you just happen to not be there when she calls for you. You could try living with your dad just on the weekends if that's possible then you'd still be able to attend the same school.
Go to an AA meeting. Look in the phone book for alcoholics anonomus. I went to a na meeting once and that is for narcautics but alcohol is also a drug. It is very well structured and they support each other like a family. You may fell intimitated about going but they will make you feel comfortable. After you go a few times you may want to share what you learned with your mom.Also you could talk to a priest or preacher most will help even if you are not a member of their church. And if you believe in GOD you might try saying a PRAYER daily. Wish I was more help GOOD LUCK. P.S. If you can't afford a counselor don't worry AA and NA is FREE!