How should I deal with my alcoholic friend?

My friend is actually my husband's cousin and she has been an alcoholic for years, in and out of rehab many times, but can't stay sober for long. She usually only contacts me when she is ';off the wagon'; and needs a drinking buddy. I'm tired of it and don't want to associate with her anymore. She is a mean drunk for one thing and gets very nasty and has done hurtful things to me when she was drunk that she doesn't even remember. She thinks I should overlook those things since she was drunk and didn't really mean it. I don't think I should have to tolerate her abuse drunk or sober. She gets really demanding when she wants me for something and won't take no for an answer and gets really upset if I don't return her phone calls or emails. My husband doesn't want her in our lives anymore either. I don't know what to do since she is family and she tries every now and then to get sober and if I have a talk with her and tell her I don't want her drama in my life anymore she gets upset and acts like I'm bringing her down by holding her past against her (even though its never in the past, its usually going on in the present or another relapse is right around the corner). Or she thinks that I'm not being supportive. I don't know what to do since my avoidance tactics aren't working. What should I do to get her out of my life, but still remain cordial at family gatherings without things being awkward?How should I deal with my alcoholic friend?
Wow this is a tough one and the best I can come up with is turn this problem over to your husband since she's his cousin. Let him really put the hammer on her because she's annoying HIS wife. Im sure if anyone else was annoying you he'd have a good talk with them right? So this gets you out of a confrontation and then stop all communication with her no matter what. And if she's not cordial at family gatherings.....well than who cares.How should I deal with my alcoholic friend?
i agree

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You should tell her if continuing to be an alcoholic is what she wants to do then you would not like to be apart of that. She's not being fair putting you to in the middle by some what making you decide between family and what's right for you. When trying to tell her this stand your ground just like she does and let HER know your not gonna accept this and YOU won't accept no for an answer. If being sober is a goal for her than let her know your completely supportive but if not then it's best you leave her alone.