How do you deal with an alcoholic??

i read the other responses that came up so i'm a little familiar now but this person is a friend (he wants to be more than friends but i won't do it) but he has a serious drinking problem. he doesn't drink all the time but when he does its excessive. he snuck in my freezer more than once and drank an entire bottle of vodka. he stole beer from my roomate, and not that i want him at my house anyway, but my roomate wont let him come over now. when he does drink he ends up getting very emotional or wants to talk about our relationship. he doesn't really have any friends and his family isn't really helpful (they are a lot of alcoholics and drug addicts too) I really just want to not be around him at all but i do feel bad for him sometimes. i've tried to talk to him and help (he was living with me for awhile and i basically supported him during that time) i don't really drink so this is new to me. i don't know if he would go for AA or anything like that but i just don't know what to do!How do you deal with an alcoholic??
look after yourself



You are right to not want to be 'more than friends' unless he decides to become clean and sober - permanently - and takes steps through addiction counseling, AA etc to stay sober. You cannot have a strong relationship with an addict - the alcohol will always get in the way. He has to take responsibility for his life first. Unfortunately, some addicts have to hit rock bottom and lose something significant before they will change.



In fact, put limits and 'boundaries' on your friendship, too. Be his friend, certainly. But expect him to be sober around you, to act responsibly and respectfully, and do not allow him to be clingy. If he goes beyond what you consider to be acceptable, leave, and tell him why you are going. Don't accept abuse (verbal abuse included) - ever.



You could well end up working to support this guy while he is unemployed; failing that, he may hold jobs for a short while before quitting or getting fired. Do you want that?



A 'binge drinker' is still an alcoholic, even though he is not drunk all the time - and he can still make your life miserable. Binge drinkers often very insecure, needy people, and that is not a sound basis for a relationship.



Consider going to 'Al-anon' - it's like AA, but intended for friends and family of alcoholics.How do you deal with an alcoholic??
The best way to deal with alcoholic and junkies is to be straight foward with them. Be very clear and let them no about the problem you think he/she has. Sometimes they need a good sitdown talk toget some scence in them....tell him you cant be around him as long as he is drinking like that...he probley will not go to AA unless he thinks he has a problem himself...That is the first step, admitting you have a problem
An alcoholic will only get help if and when they want to and not before it... And help doesn't mean that they will stop forever... I grew up in an alcoholic home... In high school I went to listen to a guest speaker from ACOA (Adult Children of Alcholics) multiple times even though it was the same presentation... I remember one statistic distinctly... ';85% of alcoholics die with the disease intact and active...'; 85%... Die... Disease... Intact... and Active...



My mother still drinks to this day... It has been 13 years since she started... And she still drinks... She has stopped a few times... The longest 'dry spell' last for 14 weeks... Thats just over 3 months...



She has caused me a lot of emotional pain over the years, but she is my mother so I can not walk away... I take her in doses... She hurt my self-esteem and confidence as I was an impressionable child... She physically harmed me a few times... She kicked me out onto the street when I had done nothing wrong...



I used to fight with her all the time... Scream at her... I tried pleading with her.. Begging her to stop... You can't do it... It won't work... If you want him in your life then make sure he is in you life, but don't allow him to become your life... And that is easy to do...



I now go over to my parent's home... If my mother is drunk (which is typical) I will assess the situation.. Is she awake first off? Is she angry? Is she volatile to become angry? And I decide whether or not to stay... If she becomes angry I may snap at her... Its hard not to when you are watching a loved one kill themself and feel helpless... But I will typically end up leaving and letting her know that I will only spend time with her when she leaves to control her behavior and treat me with respect... She will of course throw some lude or cruel comments at me which I now disregard...



So the real question is... Do you care about this person enough to keep them in your life? He is not your responsibility... He is his own responsibility...



If my mother wasn't my mother but someone I had no blood tie to... I would have walked out of her life a long time ago... But she gave me life... I love her for that... and I respect myself enough now to make sure she can't disrespect me...



Think about how you feel and decide what is best for you...



Good luck... Because I know having an alcoholic in your life is one of the hardest things to deal with!
If you have a friend who is a practicing drunk and wants to be more then friends, while he is drinking you are asking for trouble. If he is serious about you. Inform him before it goes any further he would need to do something about his drinking.



Your roomate did the right thing. Setting limits and boundaries is important with an alcoholic. You sound like you have the makings of a good rescuer. Don't do it!



My guess is booze will take precedent in his life over anything including him wanting to get in your panties. Tell him you like him, but that you can't seem him until he has stopped drinking for at least a year, and see what happens.



Get on with your life.
What if you ask him about AA ? Tell him you'll go with him if he is uncomfortable !! You can't make him stop and I would tell him his drinking has really started to bother you . He either like you and wants more to do with you or he wants to drink Leave it up to him . You or the bottle? I have been through this with quite a few friends . Want to talk write me back!!