I can't deal with my alcoholic mother any longer?

I'll start off with the basics: I'm about to turn 16. I have one older sibling who is going to college. My mother has been an alcoholic for as long as I can remember. Lately, it's been just unbearable. I have been so hurt from watching her poison herself my whole life. It's ruined my family. My father doesn't even sleep in the same room as her. Speaking of him, he travels to a bunch of places with his work, so he can't take care of me except for the few days a week he comes home. I'm pretty independent, since I've been forced to raise myself. My mother went to rehab once, and I thought that she was better. But shortly after she came home from that, she relapsed. She also stopped going to AA meetings. This was a few years ago. I don't know what to do. Rehab didn't work, and nothing I do helps. I tried to become the perfect child, thinking that if I was good enough, she'd quit drinking. Now, I've given up on that and thinking that she'll quit. But since I'm only 15 as of right now, I can't move out. My question is what can I do to make this easier for myself? I have tried to cope and it's so hard. I struggle with self-injury. I've been cutting for a few years now and have been trying to stop. I believe I have depression, possibly am bi-polar, and maybe ocd. I have not been diagnosed, I am basing this off of research I've done. But my doctor is my mother's old friend and I don't feel comfortable talking to her about any of this. My school counselor hates even helping me academic wise. I would never go to her. I am not close with any of my family members or teachers (and it's summer anyway). I don't know what to do anymore. I get really angry and I think about how much I wish she was dead. It's horrible I know I'm crazy for thinking that about my own parent. But I don't know what to think anymore and how I'm supposed to live with her for another two years until I can move out. Please help me! Sorry this was so long.I can't deal with my alcoholic mother any longer?
http://www.smartrecovery.org/resources/l鈥?/a>I can't deal with my alcoholic mother any longer?
You shouldnt say that. If she keeps it up she will be though
A link that will offer you some guidance is:





http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/





This is for people whose lives are affected by an alcoholic.





Also, your school counselor is required by law as is your doctor to report any suspicions of abuse or neglect. A drinking alcoholic parent and a parent who is not often present leaving a child solely in the care of the drinking alcoholic parent is a situation of neglect as well as endangerment of a child.





Is there perhaps a teacher or other adult at your school who you do feel comfortable talking to or confiding in.





You will be able to talk to others who have experience in a situation like yours by contacting Al-anon.
Gosh I dont know what to say. Im 18 years old so I dont have the experience or maybe a word to comfort your heart.





All my life I have had Manic piboar and was diagnosed at an early age. I a m lucky to have a family that isnt disfunctional. I can only imagine how alone you may feel because you have nobody to help you with your depression.





Its a hopeless feeling isnt it. especially when you are so young and dont know what to do with your life.





All I can say is trust God like I have and lean on him. He understands. When I had Nothing but depression I prayed a lot and he answered me and gave a life worth living.





If you need a freind you can have one in me.





My name is Hannah and you can email me whenever you want. I have a facebook aswell. Please you can definatly trust and talk with me, and ill definatly think of you and pray for you.





Like said I dont even have the words to comfort you and as much as I would love I know I cant.





hannah_hjg@yahoo.com
In some ways i can understand how you feel but in others i cant. I can understand it being hard on your own because my mother left. I have had to raise myself and be a mom to my other siblings because being single parent for my dad is hard. In all honesty i think it would be best to go to a counselor. I have struggled with depression and cutting because i thought everything was my fault. As if i wasn't good enough. But you cant blame yourself for everything. Its not your fault any of this is happening. You should go to a professional counselor because no matter what they will try to help you. My counselor helped my dad and I because i felt it was my fault for my mother leaving and that everything was my responsibility. She showed my dad the pressure that was put on me in words i could never say. Your mother may not understand the pressure you are going through. But maybe she would listen to a professional on your side.
Jen,


At this point, you need to take care of yourself. Join AL-ANON or Ala-teen. You will meet people who have been where you are now. They can provide both emotional support to you and tell you how they coped with the situation you're now in.





Trying to talk an alcoholic out of drinking or trying to be the perfect child will have the same level of success as trying to talk a cancer patient out of his cancer. Alcoholism is as much of a disease as cancer.





My heart goes out to you, Jen





Sean Roberts
WOW kid I do know what your going through my mother (GOD bless her soul ) was a alcoholic as well all my life. so I do know just hang in there do your best in school and stay tough when you finish go into the armed forces that will get you away the fast-es. Just as myself you will not be able to take women who drink heavy. But in the meantime hang in with your mother GOD will bless you. I was a teen she would wake me at 4:00am to do the laundry. I was beat with sticks %26amp; anything she got her hands on. but I stuck by her cause i knew it was the alcohol %26amp; not her...when she was sober she was the best... you'll be ok son trust me I know.





GOD will bless you
My step-dad was an alcoholic. He would start drinking as soon as he got home from work and on the weekends, he'd start drinking as soon as he woke up. My mother slowly started getting into the same thing, but she wasn't as bad and she could stop when she wanted/needed to. Since about middle school age, I was extremely depressed. Even know I had my bestfriend Jami, and both of my brothers, you kinda start to feel isolated and it brings down, I understand how you feel. Things got pretty bad around my house, my brothers and I were always grounded, for reasons I don't even know, my older brother and I both started dropping grades in all of our classes, and we went through our whole high school ';career'; barely passing classes. It sucked. It even got to the point that when my mom and dad wanted another beer, they'd holler ';NURSE'; and I'd have to get up from wherever I was at and get them beers.


Growing up in an environment like that is incredibly hard, people who haven't experienced it, they don't have anything helpful to say or do for you.


After I moved out of the house, I started to try to forget about my house and just move forward. It was really hard and took years to accomplish. But while I was there, I just did the best I could, I started cleaning the house for my parents, and cleaning up around the yard, stuff like that, just something to keep my mind off things. Also, I loved just laying on my bedroom floor and listen to music. Just whatever would take me to my ';happy place';. I tried so hard to self-medicate myself, and for the most part it worked.


If you feel like you have to talk to someone. Honestly, see if you can find a clinic around your area, something like a community health center. Sometimes they have amazing doctors that really care about who they are talking with and they do try to help. Maybe one day talk to your dad when you feel you can and ask him if he will allow you to seek outside help if he's not going to do anything about it.





I know my message seems so scattered. It's hard to pin point certain things that I could say that would at least make you feel somewhat better, so I will leave you with this:


if you feel the need to vent, about anything, feel free to e-mail me: jeniwillcockson@yahoo.com





I'm not on all the time, but I check it once or twice daily. I'll try to do what I can to help you out hun.





Take care.


~Jeni
Find Al-Anon. It's not the same thing at AA, but it's related. It's for the family and friends of alcoholics. They can help you figure out how to deal with anger, guilt, and despair. You are indeed in a difficult situation, because it is as if you were the mom and your mom the child. But you are not responsible for her!





There is supposed to be some improvement from one generation to the next. Your responsibility is to do that, to figure out how to be the best person you can, in spite of the horrendous obstacles before you. Do not take any of the ';easy'; ways out. Your mom did that, and look what she got.





You know of course that you, yourself, must avoid drinking. It would be dreadful to discover for yourself why your mother cannot stop drinking, that it turns something physiological and inheritable. but you've probably figured that trap out already.





Anyway, cut out the cutting, and just be a normal kid whose mom has mostly checked out of your life.





Oh, don't let yourself be picked up and ';rescued'; by some well-meaning (or not so well-meaning) guy. Again, I think you know that already.
you situation sounds identical to mine. both with mothers and personal ways it affects us and dealing with it. i actually found your question because i wanted to know i wasn't alone. your account doesn't allow me to email you so i put all this here. i would love to be able to talk to you. i hope youll email me: rosepetal.jrc@juno.com





you are not alone