I am wondering how to deal with an alcoholic, non abusive?

When my husband and I first started dating, he only drank here and there on the weekends. With our first child, several moves, a lay-off, and his mother dying, he is now drinking just about every night. He is NOT abusive. He actually gets down on himself a lot. He has admitted to me several times that he uses it as a crutch. He knows I do not like it. He feels he is a horrible dad (he is a good dad when he spends time with her) and he feels like a horrible husband (he is a good husband when he spends time with me). He has no problems telling me this. We actually talk very candidly about it, but he does get defensive. oh and he usually only drinks at night. He stays down in the basement alot, but doesnt really drink until after our baby goes to sleep.

When he drinks, he gets down on himself, and thoughts about his mom come up, and his dog that died, and that we were forced to move. Everything happened this year. Also, when I was pregnant, I was very moody and then I had severe post partum afterwards. He did real good and tried not to take it personally, but his drinking seemed to get worse then.

I know I cannot force him to stop. I am not going to leave him, and I live in an area that I cannot just go start attending meetings. I am just curious if anyone has any good tools I can use to cope?I am wondering how to deal with an alcoholic, non abusive?
Seek professional help!

That is the short and sweet of it.



You can read about it online and get ideas, but it will be better if you get some counseling and follow the advice. The thing which makes him want to drink needs to be identified and he has to accept it. Then he (with your help and support) works past this hiding-in-a-bottle routine. Once he admits to himself that he needs help, then it can happen.



Good luck.

Do something soon.I am wondering how to deal with an alcoholic, non abusive?
You both need to see a counselor. They can help you both because it's beyond what you can do to try to make the situation better.
you can use your capacity to persuade him not to take alcohol. you can ask a friend or somebody that he has high regard to be of help to this direction. you tell him to join the alcoholic annonymous in you place so that he can have community back-up.