Friday, November 19, 2010

How does a teenager deal with an alcoholic dad?

I am 14 years old and I live in a big house in a small, snobby, rich town. You wouldn't expect it, but my family is really messed up and I think that the root of those problems is my dad who is an alcoholic. He has admitted it a couple times (of course he was drunk when he admitted it, though) and he told me he would go to rehab. I asked him during the 5 minutes of the day that he is actually sober and not drunk or hungover if he would rather have his family or his booze and he told me to my face that he would rather have his booze because ';we don't do anything to support him';. I don't think that I have a reason to support him however because he has betrayed both mine and my mother's trust MANY times. He keeps telling us that he is going to get better and he will ';stop'; drinking for a couple days--and then my mom or I will find his hidden stash somewhere in the house. Soon he gives up on pretending not to drink and just gets drunk in front of us. My mom keeps telling me she is going to sell the house and divorce him, but it is never going to happen because she won't get any money out of it because he controls all of it and her family has absolutely no money at all. I just don't know how to deal with my dad and trying to be strong for both me and my mother, who is depressed and cries all the time. I feel like I shouldn't be the one taking care of both my parents as well as myself. I don't want to be selfish, but I have no idea what to do anymore I have been diagnosed with depression by three different pyschologists and my parents haven't done anything about it. I'm asking for advice for 1. dealing with my alcoholic dad who gets violent and mean (for example, what should I do when he approaches me when he's drunk?) 2. what should I do about my depression and how can I get the medicine I need without my parents? and 3. how do I stay strong?

*I have considered suicide more than once before.How does a teenager deal with an alcoholic dad?
You need to talk to your mom about the depression. You cannot get any prescription medicines without a parent. If you make the point that the situation is getting you down, you may be able to get her attention.

Quite frankly, I think you should consider the less problematic and non-toxic herbal route... hit the health food store and pick up a preparation called ';Happy Camper'; or another called ';Holy Basil';... both are excellent and just take the cloud off your shoulders and help you to focus... and it lifts your mood.

You need more of a support network. Try talking to the counselor at your school... even if all they can do is just give you a shoulder to cry on, that alone is a tremendous help.

You are right... you should not be stuck in the role of primary caregiver at your age. None of this is within your realm of control. Your job is to provide emotional support to your mom and to get your education... your job is going to school.

Talk to your mom again about the divorce. She can start intercepting financial statements of all kinds now for reference in court. She is entitled to 1/2 of all assets acquired during the doesn't matter whose name it is in. That includes 401K, IRAs, savings, real estate, cars and what-not.

Take her to the local bookstore and put the latest edition of the ';do it yourself'; divorce guide for your state into her hands. Some editions have all the forms on a CD inside the jacket. She can get herself free of him and have enough to start over with.How does a teenager deal with an alcoholic dad?
If you live in or near a larger city, look up Al-anon. It's an organization for any family emember of an alchoholic, and they'll help you to cope.

Some of them also have sub-chapters just for teen to meet with their peers who share the same problem with alcoholic parent(s). It's free, and it's anonymous. Goodluck! :)
Tommorow can always be better. Listen to this video any time you feel like you can't take it anymore:

Know that alhocol abuse affects wealthy families alot. Your dad has a disease; he is sick.

Read this:

and this:

and read this one:

Good luck to you. You will be okay. Take control of your fellings. You must shake off the depression. The third link has sone resources for you. If you start feeling suicidal again, call this 24-hour hotline:


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