Tuesday, November 16, 2010

How do you deal with an alcoholic in the family?

He drinks about 24 beers (or more) a day, for about two weeks. So i have to deal with him being drunk for two weeks. And sober for about two, sometimes longer. This causes him to loose his jobs. And he will not go to AA or rehab. And will not go to the doctor. How can i help him?How do you deal with an alcoholic in the family?
I grew up in a family like that. My father drank pretty much a fifth or a quart of whiskey plus beer chasers every day of the month, but one day each month he would drink soda. He was a violent drunk too and nothing we could do could make him stop until I became an adult of 30 years of age. I went on the Oprah show about Adult Children of Alcoholics and it embarrassed him that I went on National TV and told everyone how his drinking affected the family and me.

Seven months later he came up to me and told me he quit after the Oprah show.

But before that nothing helped. I do not know if anything will work for your father, but he has to want to quit on his own.

You can also do as I did, which was attend some 12 step meetings modeled after AA. These are called either Adult Children of Alcoholics or ACoA, sometimes called ACA too.

Good luck and may God blessHow do you deal with an alcoholic in the family?
You can't. He is the only one to have to make this big step. If you have spoken to him about his addiction and he has not even considered his decease, dump him or give up. I have been there before myself. It will only kill you little by little. Trust me, if he doesn't realize things, there is simply no way you can change all of his behavior !
I need to know who he is. Your father or your husband. If he is your husband... just move out. Move out so you won't deal with him. And if he is your father, stay away from him. It's amazing what alcohol does to you.
God helps those who help themselves. If you are married to him there is a good chance that you are an enabler. I hope there are no children involved. You can not cure an alcoholic. So now comes the question: how long to you want to live like this? The only way to help him is if you let him help himself. You only have to deal with him drunk if you stick around. Is this the life you want? You are in control of your life not his, so choose your destiny.
First of all,you left out a lot of details.Is this a parent,spouse,sibling,or what to you?If it is someone who is a distant relative,a boyfriend your just seeing,or someone who is not that hard to cut out of your life,then refuse to see them when they are drunk.If it is a spouse or a parent,it is a little more difficult.However,just because this person refuses to go to AA doesn't mean you can't get help.There is al-anon if you are a spouse or significant other,or al-ateen if you are a child of an alcoholic.Depending on your situation it will depend on how you handle it.If you are an adult child of an alcoholic,and live in another place other than this guy,do as you would someone who is distant to you.My father quit drinking when I was 14,and al-ateen helped me immensely.His alcoholism got so bad I ran away from home when I was ten and did not return until he quit.For four years I lived on the streets and with friend,and it was hard,but al-ateen helped me deal with the trauma from this experience and it has helped me be a better parent to my kids.
Nothing, He has to want help.Until he does there not much you can say or do that will help

It really helped me put things in perspective when I was younger.

He won't change unless he wants to change. There is nothing you can do. Just keep up your grades in school and get out of there when you are 18.

You could also go to AlaTeen or AlaNon to share your experiences with others in the same situation and learn how to deal with it. Those groups have helped many people. You might have an Alateen group at your school or a nearby church.

Don't try to change him, Hon. Right now you should take care of yourself.
An alcoholic has a physical addiction and it is hard to quit so understand that but I think that you should tell him that for Xmas or your birthday the thing you really want most is for him not to drink anymore. No one can tell an alcoholic what to do but you are his child and those words will make him take a good look at his life.
There is nothing you can do to make him stop drinking. It has to be his choice. I had such a hard time growing up with my dad as an alcoholic. I'm 21 and live 3 1/2 hours away from family now and still have a hard time with it occasionally.

Maybe if your family will all do this, try to hold an intervention. Hell, try and get on this show http://www.aetv.com/intervention/

or watch intervention on a%26amp;e and maybe you'll gain some insight on what to do or how to deal with it. You can also go to Al Anon meetings which is for people that have friends/family members that are alcoholics.
Ala-Teen is for teens of alcoholic Fathers

Al-anon is mainly for spouses of alcoholics, but kids can go too

Adult Children of Alcoholics are for kids who are now grown up who came from an alcoholic family

Your best bet would be to go Ala-Teen. You will find others your own age and they may be able to help you and you will feel more at ease there because these will be people your own age who are going through what you are going through.

You can also speak to your school counselor.

Good luck.
Ignore him, get on with making your own life what you want it to be. Don't waste your energy in judging or trying to change him. It is a negative situation, but not one that means you have to ruin your life. You can still retain control over your life and future.

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