Friday, November 19, 2010

What can I do legally if my 12 year old sister is in an unsafe environment with our alcoholic parents?

I have been having to deal with alcoholic parents for 10 years now. It was easier when it was my 2 sisters, my brother and I because we had each other. Now all of us except my 12 year old sister moved out and are trying to live sane lives. She is the only one left and the same things are happening except it seems to be worse. There's domestic violence between our mom and her dad, my step-dad, alcoholism, smoking, cigarettes and marijuana. Her dad is constantly drinking and driving with my sister in the car. He just doesnt get it. I can't even count the numerous times the police have been called due to their drunken fights. Tonight I think I have to absolutely do whatever I need to do to get my sister out of that situation. My parents can't even keep it together for family gatherings, like birthday parties and pretty much every single frickn holiday. Or for example what was supposed to be a nice camping trip for them this weekend. I just got a call from my 12 year old sister telling me that our parents got in another huge drunken fight and her dad left with not only my little sister but one of her friends also. So he put my sister and her friend in danger. Selfish Prick!! I am fuming right now, sorry for the language. Oh and he left my mom in the woods, not a camp site, by herself drunk and falling. According to my sister she had already fallen twice. What if she falls and hits her head on a rock or walks off and ends up getting lost? I need to know what it is I can do. Can I take her in? Have her live with me? How would I go about doing this if it's possible? I live in Molalla, OR and my sister lives 10 minutes away in Oregon City, OR. Please if anyone has any information for me or advice I could really use it right now. My sister is currently safe at her friend's house and her friend's mom did report my step-dad for drunk driving. The last time he was reported driving drunk they pretty much gave him a slap on the wrist since they found him parked on the side of the road. Just told him to walk and find someone to come get the car. What are we paying taxes for? Seriously? So cops can just let him get away with driving drunk? The car didnt get 6 miles from the house driving itself!!!!! Sorry venting. So if you can help please respond to my question. Thank you

carrieWhat can I do legally if my 12 year old sister is in an unsafe environment with our alcoholic parents?
my first reaction is like the others: Take her

But then what help will you be to your sister if you are arrested for kidnapping? While the cops won't do much to your dad for DWI or Domestic Violence, you may be the one in jail for kidnapping and then you will lose any standing you have to take her legally.

My suggestion would be:

Find social services, child protection or whatever they call it in OR. HOUND them, call every time, every day if you need to. But... sadly... unless you have a good job and are stable this could mean your sis goes off to foster care or the state. Perhaps not, but you never know.

Here in NM Child services is pretty useless. for the last five years I raised a teenager who ran from an abused home, child services was called on his mom many times and all they did was... well.. nothing. Guy came ot my house one time and started the visit by saying ';she's obviously crazy, but nothing we can do';.

Since he came to me at 13 they just left him here. But any time i wanted to do anything, even get him health care, I couldn't because legally i was little more than his landlord. At one time i was told ';keep him there, he is safe and if his mom tries to come for him, call the cops and then us'; but a year later when i tried to get proof CYFD had told me to keep him in my care, they said ';nothing we can do sir, there's no record of that and the lady who told you that quit.'; It's all a crap shoot with them.

IF you are willing, or one of the other siblings, she could do like my boy did and just runaway. But i'm not sure what the laws of OR say about that. You could be in trouble for harboring a runaway.

Best thing to do is consult an attorney. Perhaps the state even has free ones. In my situation the moms BF was an attorney and while the free guys were all super welcome to help once i mentioned the BFs name, the attorney literally said ';oh? um... Can't help you'; and hung up.

But I'd get some legal advice before doing something, but you NEED to do something. So explore the services available, perhaps even seek out the help of a church, or let her runaway to your house and just refuse to give her back. If the cops won't arrest him for DWI with kids in the car, maybe they will just wander off. A 12 year old running away to her sister really doesn't sound like it's going to be a priority to them and your parents don't sound like the ';win a custody lawsuit'; kind of folks.

Just remember, if you go that route, unless you get legal custody of her, you won't even be able to take her to the doctor or enroll her in school.

Good luck, i feel for you. I hope it all works out.What can I do legally if my 12 year old sister is in an unsafe environment with our alcoholic parents?
Yes! Take her. :(
You or the oldest of the sibling should go to court and fight for custody as long as one of yous has a stable house hold for her to live. I've seen a lot of similar situations. Please get help for her.
Take her with you. It's the best choice for her. Don't second think.

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