Friday, November 19, 2010

Help, need some advice on how to deal with an alcoholic.

I need some tips on how to deal with an alcoholic.Is there anyone out there that has been to AA meetings or Alanon.He has been in and out of the hospital because of his liver. He gets scared and stops for a while then he drinks again. We love him but it is tearing us up inside. Especially my son he is only 11 and he is so hurt and tired. My husband needs help, he is killing himself and we want to help him but dont know how to anymore. Some advice or tips would greatly be appreciated.Help, need some advice on how to deal with an alcoholic.
You mentioned Alanon, have you tried any of these meetings. I have been sober for a number of years and do know that AA can and will work if the person has a real desire to get sober. I have heard some Alanon and Alateen people speak also and they have very powerful messages. Alanon as you probably know is for friends and family of the alcoholic, here they learn how to cope with this other person's drinking. It is a program for them and not the person who is drinking. Sounds as if your doctor is aware of your husbands drinking also if he has hospitalized him for liver problems. If your husband has any other immediate family members that may be of assistance to you perhaps you could use them for a shoulder. As far as your poor young son there is Alateen and this is a wonderful program for kids of alcoholics. These kids go through so much and the alcoholic is usually not aware of any of it. But when they have peers with whom to identify and share ideas etc. it can really be a big assistance. I honestly do not what else to suggest so I will wish you all the best. And hope that your man may find sobriety for everyone's sake very soon.Help, need some advice on how to deal with an alcoholic.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!! You need Al Anon! Your son needs Al Ateen.......there are meetings all OVER !!!!!



They will be able to help you!



Make that first step! You will be GLAD YOU DID!
I say have him go straight to rehab. Your son doesn't need to be effected by this any longer. If I were you, I would have him checked in to rehab.
well, having children with a known alcoholic wasn't a great idea.

now, you do have to deal with it. show your kids learning tools about dealing with such a disease and to persevere. i guess you should continue to go to alanon meetings as that is supposed to be helpful.
Sorry to tell you but you CAN'T HELP HIM. Your priority needs to be you and your son and the best thing you can do for him is to stop enabling his life by putting up with his drinking. A trial separation migh tbe hard but it might also deliver the needed shock value to him once and for all to push him towards sobriety! I know that is harsh but change has got to come from HIM alone not you! And you are right this is killing your child and will affect him his entire life if you remain under the same roof with an alcoholic.
I beg you ro leave him.My mom is dating an alcoholic and he destroyed the bond me and my mother hold.He hit my mom and she beath the living hell out of him and he tal=ked=s it out on us and whe we try to talk to our mom she just makes excuses like she loves him or she's trying to help himHe's been in and out of rehab for about four years.So if your partner/spouse/boyfriend is an alcoholic and he doesn't want to quite drinking leave him because unless he really want to he won't quite.
Crazylegs.....you hit it right on the head......I could not have said it better.....My parents were both alcoholic.....sucks to be a kid of someone who you can't ';make'; stop..So for his sake please take him to Alateen and go for your self also
My husband had an addiction with cocaine. I took him to meetings, went to counseling, to no avail. He drained every bit of happiness in my life. He killed the trust we had. He wiped out our bank account. We eventually seperated. I loved him. That wasn't enough. He died 5 years ago.

What your husband is doing to himself, you and your son is sad. Some addicts can't control it, even when they want to. Try to get him to go to an inpatient rehab. Try an intervention. Just don't enable him (I don't mean to imply that you are.) Maybe severing your relationship/ marriage with him would be the best thing for you and your son. My heart goes out to you.
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