my dad drinks all the time since before i was born its gotton to points when he wa so drunk that he's missed my sister b-day party to the point where he can't talk and has passed out on the floor things kids should never have to see and it's really messed me up alot i have real bad anger problems from all the screaming and vickoring and staying in the car for 3 hours waiting for my parents to stop fighting cuz we were gonna go to a hotel. Now that i've grown up im 18 now i can't seem to get along with my dad i can't be in the same room with him cuz i'll or he'll pick a fight i try my best to stay away from him and i really feel like i hate him and i really feel guilty cuz he works real hard to keep up with work from 5 a.m to 5 p.m i can maybe get an hour of the day where he's atleast sober and acts like my dad and then by night he's someone else that He takes beer as his #1 prioridy instead of his family and im always told i'll get stronger but i feel weeker, what should i do?How to deal with alcoholics?
alcohol should be known as the root of all evil..i too am the product of an alcoholic father....i have memories of all of the things you mentioned...i view alcoholism as a disease....i just wish it was harder for alcoholics to get....that said the young lady who suggested Al-Anon was correct because it will help you understand your feelings and learn to cope with them...you have to forgive your father for his illness and understand that there are people who can not drink safely alcohol becomes their life....i wish the best for youHow to deal with alcoholics?
Join Al-anon to find the support you need to begin healing. You cannot solve this one on your own. You can find the number in the phone book... or through telephone information. I am so very sorry for you...and send you good thoughts and best wishes. You cannot change him... he has to want to get well for his own sake. Hugs, Gina C.
The two answers above have nailed it, ALANON. Seek them out and don't give up. Millions have been where you are. They have found each other and help in alanon. Good luck.
I understand, I am 25 years old and my father was an alcoholic way before I was born. I grew up seeing those exact things only my mom always defended us kids rather than my dad. I had a lot of resentment for him growing up and into my teens. I hated him so much and begged my mom to get a divorce so that he could leave us alone. (she was already concidering it at the time) He is the reason my sisters moved out so I was alone with him and my mom and I hated it. They eventually divorced and he did seem to quit drinking after that but it took me a long time to get over what he had put my family through. however, I have learned over the years to forgive. I still can't be in the same room with him at times but It is easier for me to control my feelings. I think the best thing that you can do is separate yourself from the situation that you are in. Your 18 years old now, if things get really bad where you can't stand living with them anymore maybe consider moving out on your own or with a relative. Believe me, once you are out of that environment you can begin to heal. If you can't move out just yet, try getting involved in things that get you out of the house. School activites, work, friends, groups, anything that will help you step away from your home. Don't feel guilty about how you feel. And don't let anyone else make you feel guilty. You are entitled to your own feelings. No one else is in your situation and you can only do what is best for you and your life.
Like i told another girl jsut now that has prolems with her dad..
I didnt meet mine until i was 7.
Hes was the most wonderful man ever.
But then i learned his ways and figured out who he really was.
He turned out to be a drughead, an alcholic, and abusive.
Alcoholics are very hard to deal with.
I eventaully realized that if all he was gonna do is put me through pain then i dont need him in my life.
I found out not too long ago that when my cousin came with me to visit him for a couple of weeks he tried to molest her.
We had gotten drunk and he went meet her in the room and shes terrified of him now.
For alot of people alcohol is a way to get things off of their mind. Or they have inner problems and use alcohol to overcome it.
Just try to avoid him.
Or tell him how you feel.
Good luck babe.
;D
Find an Alanon or Alateen meeting. Also, read the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. It was written back in the 30's, but it will explain a little about the disease of alcoholism and it might help you understand your dad better. I understand your anger towards his alcoholism. The disease takes away everything, family, money, etc.
The one thing to remember is that you are not at fault in any way for his disease and he has to want to help himself. Stay away from the guilt because no matter how hard he works, his disease affects everyone around him and the effects are not always pleasant.
If you pray, pray for him. Ask God to show your dad his will. I will pray that your father finds the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. The program saved my life. I have been sober for seven years. And my alcoholic father died sober.
I don't usually do this, but if you want to email me and talk -blondspitfire61@att.net
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