How to deal with alcoholic?

My 70 yr old grandfather is a life-long alcoholic, he is straight for about a month then goes on a weekly-monthly binge. When he is drunk the apartment turns into hell. The problem is that when he gets drunk he starts arguing with my grandmother whenever he feels like it, and since he wakes up at 3am he wakes her up and torments her. To get rid of him she has to yell and argue for hours, her blood pressure rises and it's ruining her health. How can we get him to leave her alone during his binges if leaving him is not an option



p.s he never uses violence, just sadistic argumentsHow to deal with alcoholic?
Let it be.

If your grandmother wanted help- she'd ask for it herself.



Wait until she asks for help or tries to stop it- if she doesn't,

Let it be.How to deal with alcoholic?
Your grandmother has probably lived this sort of life, all her married life. And it's been HER personal choice.



If you really want to help yourself, since your life has been affected by an alcoholic, try Alateen or Alanon meetings.



You can also make sure the booze stash is hidden or dumped... he doesn't need that crap.



most sincerely, a recovering alcholic
wow ...hun your gramma would have to just up and leave him..there is not a THING you can do UNLESS she wants to:(



My father was an alcholic and did the same thing...I am SO sorry you all have to deal with it:(



hugs and prayers to you all



ps I would maybe get her to go to a ANON meeting with you so you all can know how to deal with it better...
This has probably been going on for years.



You would be better off talking to Grandma about getting out of the house and staying somewhere else when he has been drinking.



Sounds like grandpa is really set in his ways, but another male talking to him about will probably go further than having a female or his wife, soooo if you are a guy, start talking to him, otherwise, ask your dad to talk to him.
That's sad. It's a real shame that your grandfather hasn't got a handle on his drinking by now - he should be able to see what it's doing to your poor grandmother.

When he's on a binge, is it possible your grandmother could stay at someone elses place? Or is there a seperate room? Someone really needs to talk to your grandfather - when he's sober, and tell him that waking your grandmother up and tormenting her is really affecting her health. She could even try saying if he doesn't stop, she wants him to move out? That might scare him into thinking about what he's doing. Hopefully anyway.

Good luck!
Sadly, the solution to the situation can come only if he stops drinking. A person of his age, it is very difficult to expect him to change.



It would be better for your grand mother to take it easy. she should try and find solace by meditation and getting involved in some social work.
My advice comes from having a situation just like yours. The best thing you can do for yours and your grandmothers own sanity is get him gone. It will never get better untill he drinks himself to death., believe me.
Telling him that his drunken antics is killing his wife (figuratively and may even literally) when he is sober should matter to him.



But if you feel like it's out of control and you've done all you could on your own, it'd be best to seek professional help. Maybe trying rehab for your grandpa again or going as a group to a psychiatrist could give you other alternatives and uncover other underlying issues.



I know that it's not as drastic as physical abuse, but words hurt as well. And nobody deserves to tolerate an atmosphere where they feel hurt or tormented.
Get a good metal door for the bedroom with a dead bolt, she can sleep in the bedroom, and have him sleep in the living room.



Grandma can lock herself in the room, put some headphones on and play some classical music while she falls asleep.



If leaving him is not an option, then HE can leave. She can always call the police, I would. She doesn't call the police to protect him, but who is protecting grandma?



This works: Have a few fixed video cams around the home to film him while on a binge. When he is sober have him watch the tape.



It is then when the subject of rehab is brought up.



Just because grandma has been abused a lifetime, it is not right for her to continue her olden days being abused by a drunk. She is from another era where people would put up with abuse, but just because she had no option but to allow it, it doesn't mean she likes it! she now has many options at her disposal. Check a senior program near her so she can speak to a counselor, your grandma needs some professional support.



How does he get the alcohol?

He has his own money to buy the alcohol?

Does grandpa drive?