How to deal with a alcoholic?

I've been going out with someone for a few months now. About a week in going out with him I've noticed he was a bit too fond of the drink. He doesn't know when to say enough, and drinks dusk to dawn, dawn to dusk. When he's drunk he's a pr**k basically, and he always makes up excuses to go on drinking. And more...



I'm surprised I'm still around.



He sort of realises he has a problem, but is definitely not yet willing to admit to it, but in the mean time he's messing things up for himself between us, what could have been. He knows and feels sorry afterwards, but still doesn't give up the drink.



Now I'll be honest; I'm not in love with him. That's not why I'm still around. I just want him to catch up on himself, get better and have a more productive life. You know, be a better person. But I'm hitting a concrete wall every time I try!



Any pointers?How to deal with a alcoholic?
Many alcoholism treatment specialists suggest the following steps to help an alcoholic get treatment:



Stop all ';cover ups.'; Family members often make excuses to others or try to protect the alcoholic from the results of his or her drinking. It is important to stop covering for the alcoholic so that he or she experiences the full consequences of drinking.



Time your intervention. The best time to talk to the drinker is shortly after an alcohol-related problem has occurred, such as after a serious family argument or an accident. Choose a time when he or she is sober, both of you are fairly calm, and you have a chance to talk in private. For more information about interventions, visit our page at http://www.addict-help.com/intervention.



Be specific. Tell the family member that you are worried about his or her drinking. Use examples of the ways in which the drinking has caused problems, including the most recent incident.



State the results. Explain to the drinker what you will do if he or she doesn't go for help--not to punish the drinker, but to protect yourself from his or her problems. What you say may range from refusing to go with the person to any social activity where alcohol will be served, to moving out of the house. Do not make any threats you are not prepared to carry out.



Get help. Gather information in advance about treatment options in your community. If the person is willing to get help, call immediately for an appointment with a treatment counselor. Offer to go with the family member on the first visit to a treatment program and/or an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.



Call on a friend. If the family member still refuses to get help, ask a friend to talk with him or her using the steps just described. A friend who is a recovering alcoholic may be particularly persuasive, but any person who is caring and nonjudgmental may help. The intervention of more than one person, more than one time, is often necessary to coax an alcoholic to seek help.



Find strength in numbers. With the help of a health care professional, some families join with other relatives and friends to confront an alcoholic as a group. This approach should only be tried under the guidance of a health care professional who is experienced in this kind of group intervention, visit our page at http://www.addict-help.com/intervention.



Get support. It is important to remember that you are not alone. Support groups offered in most communities include Al-Anon. visit http://www.al-anon.org for meeting information. They hold regular meetings for spouses and other significant adults in an alcoholic's life, and Alateen, which is geared to children of alcoholics. These groups help family members understand that they are not responsible for an alcoholic's drinking and that they need to take steps to take care of themselves, regardless of whether the alcoholic family member chooses to get help.How to deal with a alcoholic?
I would just step away. It's a rough road that you really don't HAVE to put up with. Guys don't change unless they do it for themself. You are only hurting yourself by sticking around. Have some pride in yourself, move on to someone that will benefit you and not hold you back.
i would tell him that if he can't start doing something to make it better than i would be done b/c you can't help and alcholic unless they want to help them selves
Oh, that really, really sucks. I'm sorry. Okay, I'm no expert, but there are a lot of alcoholics in my family. The thing about them is, no matter how much you want them to, or how much they love you, they're not going to stop for you. Putting your foot down often means that they either hide it, or start having to apologize a lot, or both. It's a disease, and a wretchedly hard one to overcome. They usually have to hit rock-bottom for that to happen. Everyone's rock-bottom is different, of course, and there are people whose bottom is losing their girl or boy. Even when that does happen, they need a lot of help. I don't know what to tell you to do, but I can say that you are probably not going to be the thing that makes him better. This is nothing against you, you could be his shining goddess and it would be the same.
One thing I have learned is that you can't date someone in an attempt to try and help them or fix them; and I am not trying to say he shouldn't be fixed, alcoholism is a big deal and something that needs to be addressed. You shouldn't stay with him because of this though. If he does get better and you decide he is good without you and leave, it could cause a relapse. Either way for helping him...perhaps you could talk to his friends or family about it and have an intervention. Have you tried talking to him openly about this? Tape him when he is drunk and play it back to him so he can see what a jerk he is.
DUMP
Leave him alone. You can't do anything for him. The only person who can help him is him. He has to want to quit. If he doesn't want to quit then there is nothing you can say or do. Your not his parole office your his girlfriend. I've been down this road before. I'd get out while your still ahead. You don't want to get knocked up by this guy. If your not in love chalk this up to life experience and move on.
Run, don't walk, take this from someone who's been there. If you have only known this guy a short time and are not in love with him then get out. #1 You can not help him, he can only help himself. #2. If he is a true alcoholic the odds of him quitting are very slim. The majority don't. #3. With your father being an alcoholic unfortunately you will be drawn to alcoholics because even if this causes you pain this is learned behavior and it is what you are accustomed to, so be careful, I don't think you want the kind of life I'm sure your father subjected you to.I'm not a shrink but with a whole lot of counseling I've learned one or two things.
We've been in the same boat....do you guys have the same friends? Talk to them about it, and maybe do a semi-intervention: have a get together with NO drinks, and if he makes a big deal about it, lock the door and confront him. For a single guy, that can be a wake-up call.

If you two are comfortable (as can be) talking about it, give him the number for AA to call when HE is ready, and if offer your support AS A FRIEND!!!!! Definitely break off the romantic involvement NOW! Since you have confronted him and he has admitted, he just needs to stop making excuses and follow through for himself.



God Bless both of you for working together to make a start!
i think u should try talking to him about stopping... and u want to make sure hes not violent when he drinks if he is then girl just drop him and dont turn around, if u dont love him then just point him in the right direction and thats it why do u want the headache
Contact your local AA.

Alcoholism is a serious matter. Not one that YOU can fix.

He can change, but only HE can.

From what you have stated, he does not seem likely to change. He realizes that he has messed up relationships because of his drinking, but is doing nothing about it.

AA members have been there, and done that. I recommend them.

The only thing you can do is to change your attitude towards him. Avoiding him if he has been drinking and not going out with him and drinking, is a start. And, NEVER get into a car with him if he has been drinking!

In short, you cannot fix him because he does not think that he is broken. But he does need someone to support him if he decides that his drinking is doing more harm than good to him.