Friday, November 19, 2010

How do you deal with your alcoholic addict brother/sister?

I've raised three of my sister's five kids for the past 5 years. They all have damage due to her drug/alcohol use during pregnancy. She just dumps her kids and calls every few months and then I could not hear from her for a year. I'm really tired and really don't even want a relationship with her. Should I feel bad?How do you deal with your alcoholic addict brother/sister?
Everytime Skippys alcoholic sister gets drunk and she has no money, I go to her house and buy her stuff really cheap. Skippy got big screen HDTV for 20 bucks from drunk sister because she needed beer money.How do you deal with your alcoholic addict brother/sister?
She doesnt deserve children....put your foot down, tell her shes affecting the future of her kids and also yours, they need a mother in there lives, she need to sort herself out before she takes on that role.
tell'em 2 drop da bottle and get a life!!!!!duhhhh!!!!who would throw their wonderful liffe away with drinking!!!!



I LUVVVV CRISS ANGEL!!!!
okay a great tool for you to use is Alanon which is a program geared towards the familys of a alcohol/substance abuser. i had the same problem with my sister, she has a destructive lifestyle that has caused my family grief throughout the past few years. my family recently attended some meetings and gained some great tools to help them cope. remember there is nothing you can do to solve their problems, its their journey; you just need to learn how you can cope with it.
No one can answer ';should'; you feel bad. It's natural to have conflicted emotions because this is a complex situation...you have disappointment with your sister for not taking better care of herself and her children, you have anger for having to change your life to take responsibility for her mistakes, you have love for your nieces/nephews and sister, you have regret for not being able to stop her drug abuse before it affected her children...



My best advice to you is that the kids are the most important thing--and they deserve a mother figure who is strong, dependable, and loving. If being in contact with your sister drags you down emotionally, then you owe it to these children to cut her out of the equation. Get legal custody, change your phone number, get a restraining order if you have to! Be a loving and compassionate mother to these children, and you will be paid back with their love and devotion. Also, you can take pride in their successes (which I'm sure they will have under your care!).



What you are doing is admirable, and you are earning brownie points in heaven! God bless you!
Alanon



';Alcoholism is a 'family' disease. Compulsive drinking affects the drinker and it affects the drinker's relationships; friendships, employment, childhood, parenthood, love affairs, marriages, all suffer from the effects of alcoholism. Those special relationships in which a person is really close to an alcoholic are affected most, and we who care are the most caught up in the behavior of another person. We react to an alcoholic's behavior. We see that the drinking is out of hand and try to control it. We are ashamed of the public scenes but in private we try to handle it. It isn't long before we feel we are to blame and take on the hurts, the fears, the guilt of an alcoholic.';



';Even the most well-meaning people begin to count the number of drinks another person is having. We pour expensive liquor down drains, search the house for hidden bottles, listen for the sound of opening cans. All our thinking is directed at what the alcoholic is doing or not doing and how to get him or her to stop drinking. This is our obsession.';



';Watching other human beings slowly kill themselves with alcohol is painful. While the alcoholic doesn't seem to be worrying about the bills, the job, the children, the condition of his or her health, people around them begin to worry. We make the mistake of covering up. We fix everything, make excuses, tell little lies to mend damaged relationships, and we worry some more. This is our anxiety.';



';Sooner or later the alcoholic's behavior makes those around him or her angry. We realize that the alcoholic is not taking care of responsibilities, is telling lies, using us. We have begun to feel that the alcoholic doesn't love us and we want to strike back, punish, make the alcoholic pay for the hurt and frustration caused by uncontrolled drinking. This is our anger.';



';Those who are close to the alcoholic begin to pretend. We accept promises, we believe. We want to believe the problem has gone away each time there is a sober period. When every good sense tells us there is something wrong with the alcoholic's drinking or thinking, we still hide how we feel and what we know. This is our denial.';



';Perhaps the most severe damage to those who have shared some part of life with an alcoholic comes in the form of the nagging belief that we are somehow at fault; we were not up to it all, not attractive enough, not clever enough to have solved this problem for the one we love. We think is was something we did or did not do. These are ou feelings of guilt.';



Alcoholism is a three-fold disease, physical, mental, and spiritual. What we fail to realize or accept is that alcoholism is a disease. An uncontrollable desire to drink is only one symptom of that disease. Taking care of one symptom, even a major symptom, does not cure the whole disease. Although it can be arrested, alcoholism has no known cure. Excerpted from How Al-Anon Works for Families %26amp; Friends of Alcoholics.



Al-Anon has but one purpose: to help families of alcoholics. We do this by practicing the Twelve Steps, by welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholics, and by giving understanding and encouragement to the alcoholic.



Help is here for the asking. Find out if Al-Anon or Alateen is right for you. Take a moment to ask yourself these questions: ';Are You Troubled By Someone's Drinking?'; or ';Did You Grow Up With A Problem Drinker?'; or ';Alateen擨s Someone's Drinking Getting To You?'; If you identify with some of these statements, it is important to know that help and hope for friends and families of alcoholics is just a phone call away.
No, don't feel bad about the choices in life your sister makes.

Although I hope after her last kid she had her tubes tied.



If I were you, I would try to adopt those kids. Drunks do this all the time, they leave scattered lives in their wake and eventually they get tossed in the slammer, ordered to rehabilitate by a judge and then all of the sudden, they want the kids back.



I doubt you have keep your emotional distance from these kids, and it may be really hard for you to give them up to her when she is ordered to sober up. Get custody now while you can still prove in court that she is an unfit mother because once she starts on the road to sobriety you will have a much harder time keeping those children.



Once you get custody, get a restraining order or supervised visitation for your sister.



I am an ex-druggy, alcoholic, destructive person who changed and has been sober since Jan. 21 1995 - so don't give up on your sis, but take care of yourself and keep your distance from her if you can.
Whatever that may be she/he still your sibling, though such doing is kinda annoying but you can do nothing but help him/her, if you have chance to talk again convince him.her to get some treatment if she/he still alcoholic.
you are one of those people who makes the world go round. sucks to be you sometimes huh? but you are very awesome. I for one don't believe there is any great prize waiting for anybody after they die and you are waisting your time by not pursuing your own dreams. however i respect you for it. the world needs more like you.

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