How do you deal with an alcoholic / addict husband?

He drinks all the time, doesnt come home til late, spends money that he doesnt have, doesnt see me or the kids...and when he does is argumentative and edgy. Is it better to leave or to deal with?How do you deal with an alcoholic / addict husband?
Go to Al-Anon to help get your head on straight. Rise above the insanity so that you and your kids can get help. He may never choose to get sober, but you can.How do you deal with an alcoholic / addict husband?
leave 'em
WOW leave that MOFO ASAP ......
Tough love is the only way. Get help first then make up your mind
you go to Al-Anon

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
Maybe if you sit down and talk with him when hes sober. Tell him exactly how you feel. If it doesnt help then maybe try some counselling?
Leave
Marriage counselor and AA before you leave his butts :)
He has to get help or you may have to leave him. This is one time where I feel an ultimatum is needed.
If he hasn't changed by now having a family than he probably won't I think it is better for you to leave than for his kids to grow up and watch their father throw his life away. Maybe taking his kids away and losing everything will give him a taste of reality....
you picked him!!!



funny isnt it how unfunny it is when you have responsibilities now?



what is there to deal with? when he can behave himself he can be the husband and father. until then, ...
My first husband was an alcoholic. He probably still is. I could not stay in the relationship since he was not willing to get help.
hell no....leave 'em...seriously before someone gets hurt......good luck



STAR
There must be 50 ways to leave your lover...



Leave, soon!
You just described the man I'm divorcing right down to the letter.



Divorce him. You and the kids will be happier in the end. If he doesn't come home 'til late, then he's not spending any time with the kids. The difference they'll see is that they actually get to build a relationship with their dad when the scheduled visitation begins. My divorce has been the best thing that ever happened to my kids, and I wish I hadn't waited so long.
I would try to talk to him; If you have and that doesn't work leave him. It's not healthy for you or your children to be around him.
Look after yourself. Unfortunately, you can't help him, he has to want to help himself. They call it ';rock bottom';.



Make sure you and your children are safe and happy. Do not prioritise his needs however much this might hurt. Cruel to be kind and all that.
Its best to get him some help. You're children are being affected by his behavior....ask him to go get help, beg him if need be. get out your camcorder and record his behavior when he's sloshed so when he's sober he can see the *** he's making of himself....If he is physically or verbally abusive to you or the kids and refuses help, then you should leave....for the sake of the kids. Best of luck to you.
You don't have to divorce him, but you do need to leave him.



1) That's not a healthy environment for your kids.



2) That's not what you want your kids to believe is a normal and acceptable way to have a family/marriage/relationship.



3) It's not safe.



4) It's not stable--which is the root of countless problems for all of you.



5) He's not going to get help and get over it until he WANTS it. You can't make him want it, but you can't let your family suffer in the meantime.



I would say to move out, but don't file the divorce papers just yet. In some states, you have to be separated for a period of time before you can divorce anyway. But maybe once you and the kids are gone for a while, he'll feel like he's missing more than he's gained and he'll truly WANT to change.



In the meantime, get to a safe, stable and happy place--for your AND your kids sake. Talk to them. BE with them. And be happy... even if it's in some crap-hole place. Believe it or not, you'll all be happier.
Violet Pearl had good advice for you. Contact AL-ANON.
leave...it doesn't sound like he cares about you or the kids. his mistress is the bottle. alcohol, arguments, etc? not a good mix, at all. get out while you can.......!
NO ONE should have to deal with such behaviors..if he refuses to get help...you should get gone!
I think it's better to deal with this as he's the father of your kids and it's for their good if he quits drinking (regardless of whether you two stay together or not). I'd suggest you seek professional help for him and do your best to convince him to join rehab. Tell him what the consequences will be if he doesn't and act on it.



If he's been a different person towards you before he got to this addictive stage then it's worth trying to save your marriage as he will hopefully change once he stops drinking so much.



Hope you can get this sorted and best of luck!
First of all im Sorry your in that mess with your kids!



I my opinion would be is to talk to him about getting some help (when he is sober) or talk to him about how you feel and what could happen if he keeps drinking...
leave him. then go to al-anon to get yourself some help so your next marriage wont be ruined. you can't fix him and trust me i grew up in an alcoholic home, your kids will be f***ked up bad. i married an abuse alcoholic and stayed 8 years in living hell trying to make it work. he quit drinking once for over a year. they always go back and if not, then there is always the threat. leave! leave! leave! as a matter of fact run like hell.
Think about trying to stage an intervention with friends %26amp; family to get him into a rehab. If he does not agree to go you have to make a tough decision. Do you want to live with this? Alcholics/addicts are always on a downward path. Both are progressive diseases. Get yourself some help if you need support to leave him and figure out how to live without him - be it financially and/or emotionally. Think about your future and the future of your children. Do you want them to remember their father as a drunk/druggie? This is only part of it, it WILL get worse, please get help a.s.a.p. for yourself %26amp; your kids. Get out now, or get him out.
Leave, run, hide, change your identity, go abroad, fake your death, anything just get away from him.
You don't deal with them until they get help.
Relate is the new name for the Marriage counsellor service. You can go on your own.



Not everyone is suited to AA. Many are suited to smartrecovery.org, but only if they are willing.



Please go take care of yourself and put yourself first and foremost. Go to Relate.
pray for him daily. And, stay committed. Ask friends and family to hold him accountable.