Tuesday, November 16, 2010

How to deal with an alcoholic husband and a cheater at the same time? how to cope them without leaving?

my husband cheated me a year a go with his friend. i guess maybe they get along because she drink and i dont. he is been hiding about this and i wasnt even introduce to this friend of him... what is affecting me now is seems like i have anxiety at all coz i dont want to break our marriage and since he is an alcoholic he drinks a lot everyday and it really bothers me a lot. im just depressed... i've never been depressed this way since i'm alive in this world.How to deal with an alcoholic husband and a cheater at the same time? how to cope them without leaving?
if u have no intention of leaving him, u may need to find ways of coping, join al anon. but if your life doesn't revolve around alcohol, and u want more from life, its really hard to be with someone who is travel ling down a different path in life. if this is effecting u emotionally, why stay with him? and u will have anxiety, it will effect your life. sometimes we buy our own problems in life by not facing reality, by thinking we can change someone.How to deal with an alcoholic husband and a cheater at the same time? how to cope them without leaving?
to cope with it i say find God or religion. but i think the solution would be divorce. im so very sorry about your situation.
And why do you want to stay? Alcoholism and cheating are both good reasons to leave by themselves - together, it's a slam dunk.

But it's your life - if you really want to stay and need help to cope, try Al-Anon.
Well first I would ask him if he would like to go to rehab. And if he says ';no'; and he keeps on drinking and drinking. Then that means you need to give him a intervention. And if he has cheated on you and you still haven't gotten over that. You must go to couples therapy. Because it is your choice if you want to break it or not. But you must try real hard to keep it together. Because a wedding vow is sacred between the both of you and God.
Alcoholic and infidelity is a bad combination. As much as you want to work it out, it won't get worked out unless he wants to change. If he refuses to get counseling or any form of help you may want to consider a trial separation. Just don't go running back if he makes promises. Make sure to wait it out to see if he wants to change for himself, not just to get you back.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this, and you're very strong for wanting to stay...
Why do you stay in a marriage you are so unhappy in? He cheats on you,lies to you,shows you no love or respect and is an alcoholic on top of it! Have you talked to him about getting into a detox/rehab facility and getting sober? If not, you should. I think you need counseling too if you are willing to stay around and deal with the stress he is putting you through. Find a good counselor you can see once or twice a week and vent to. Sounds like keeping all this to yourself is making you miserable.
try and have an intervention.
Well, if you don't want to leave, deal with it!

So, when he comes home, pour him a beer, hand him a condom, and get it on!
There is no way on this earth I would stay with my husband if 1. he cheated on me %26amp; 2. he was an alcoholic.

Hon. please stop living like this it will only get worse. Get out while you can, since he is the one @ fault you shouldn't have any problems getting a divorce. Your own well being is @ stake here.

My Sis is married to an alcoholic, who is also a diabetic, he's abusive %26amp; violent. He is drinking over 2ltrs wine/day %26amp; is very unpleasant to be around.

Don't get trapped like my sister please.
When a situation like this comes along that is clearly untenable you have two choices, to suck it up and just go on hoping (which is basically living in denial and settling for a half life) or effect the change yourself by getting away from him and finding someone who ash honor and is not a hopeless alcoholic. Your husband will continue to cheat, whether with her or someone else, and he will continue to drink. Why would you want to stay with someone this weak?
Go to Alanon.
Im sorry, about your situation. The one who does harm is just as at fault as the one who lets harm be done (to them). If not more.

A woman looses all of her dignity once she is cheated on and takes him back. So after you took him back he started seeing you as someone who needs him rather then someone he needs. He will continue to do this unless you put an end to it. It is not about dealing with it, it is about STOPPING it. Find a place to stay for while, if he loves you he will realize he needs to change because you survived without him. And you will no longer be the needy one, but a strong woman that he will have to work hard for.

If you put up with this much longer, your self esteem and your self worth are going to be two amongst the other things you will suffer from. Take action now, and remember that we get what we fight for.

You dont have to give the best answer to me, but give it to anyone, people work hard to help you and they deserve recognition.

God Bless i really do wish you the best, and remember to always pray with faith and god will help you.
he needs help...make him get the help he really needs!!he needs the help not you
really be praying for Him.

God bless you..
are you kidding. you need to get help for yourself before to go insane or kill yourself. seek help there are aa meetings for family members of the alcoholic. if your husband dosen't want help them you only got one choice LEAVE HIM. g/luck
Leave him. You won't be the one ';breaking the marriage';, your husband did that when he cheated on you. Do you seriously have so little self-esteem that you think you deserve to waste the rest of your life on a drunk?
Why wouldn't you be depressed.........you're married to a cheater and alcoholic, so it isn't like you don't know what's making you feel this way. If you can forgive the cheating and your husband admits he's an alcoholic and starts getting help, there is not one thing you can do about it. If he continues to drink he will continue to cheat. For your own mental health, and your children's if you have any, you need to get out of this miserable life, What is there to stay for? If it's children, I firmly believe divorce is preferable to bringing them up in a toxic home. You should also go to AlAnon, it's for wives, friends anyone who has an alcoholic in their life. They'll teach you how to let go with love. You do not deserve this life and you're only allowing him to think you have given him your permission to act the way he does.
You need to find an alanon meeting. They are free and have a toll free helpline.

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