Tuesday, November 16, 2010

How would you deal with an alcoholic who is recovering?

my roommate is a recovering alcoholic but im on my last straw and dont think i can deal with his attitudes and him always having to borrow money.I work 2 jobs and barely get 4 hours of sleep. im tired of it...what do I say or do without being too mean or hurting his feelings?How would you deal with an alcoholic who is recovering?
In my opinion...the fact that he's a recovering alcoholic is irrelevant.

You shouldn't put up with him borrowing your hard earned money all the time and with his bad attitude..

He may be going through a bad time, and its good that you are there for him - but its no excuse for him to treat you badly.

I suggest having a word first...telling him that it's not acceptable ( like what you have said here) and refuse to lend him more money - he should be working. If he gets himself a job his attitude will probably change as he will make more friends and have more sense of worth.

Emma :o)How would you deal with an alcoholic who is recovering?
How about buying him a drink!
Buy him a simple dinner, sit down and talk with him. With sincerity he should understand. Even if he does not understand, you are responsible for Your own life, not his.

Just do your best and don't feel guilty.

Good Luck!
If he's in a decent recovery program he should be learning how important it is for him to take care of ';his side of the street'; It sounds like you are enabling his disease more than helping his recovery.
As a recovering alcoholic myself I have a question for you. If he stopped drinking, why is he borrowing money? I think you should not worry about his feelings, but worry about yours. It seems to me you are being used. Something for you to check out.
Alcoholism isn't something you can really get over, it's a disease. You should be as patient as possible with them when being a friend, but you definitely need to put your foot down in the business department or you will get walked all over. If there is any positive left in you for this person, try ';helping'; them find work in the little spare time you do have, grab a newspaper, email some links to online aps, grab them applications from everywhere you go including but not limited to mcdonalds, quick trip, dollar general,anywhere that has a paper application and casually mention that you happened to notice these places are hiring,so you grabbed them an app, quit buying good food, or hide the good food you do buy, hide all soft drinks and kool aid, make life kinda crappy and boring without having his own funds but do it slowly and without alot of attention to yourself so hopefully if you want to save the friendship you can. if you are so tired of this person that you don't care if you are friends anymore, tell them to get a life and get out. Be careful of rental laws. Have you seen the movie Pacific Heights? (ha ha) Good luck!
this is very hard to do, it requires love and a lot of patience. i been in your position, and the worst that you can do is put him down. you got to keep in mind that you are recovering to, so you need time to. About the money, well, that's your decision, you don't have to if you don't want to, besides, he have to deal with his past and adjust his life to his current economic situation.
Boot the Red Nose out.
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